Diving In Deep

Today is another Monday of this cycle of pain, stress, and existential blues that I get every weekend. It begins on sunday, then happens throughout the monday, and now I will sleep. Through God, through my higher power, I am able to get through it. I went to a meeting, and got my medicine for the day.

Somebody shared, that sometimes it gets to the point, that you have to breathe in and out, and in between those breaths, you ask God to help you not to drink. It is that level of resolution. It's not even counting the days, you are in the "magnification" of breaths.

I keep thinking at times, that I really did mess up and get into a rut. I got into a hole. I see myself in others who have gone deep. And I did not know any better. There was no way for me to know or avoid. Perhaps I should embrace this wound that I have. It is a gift that I do not want.

One day at a time.

All I know is I'm learning more about the 12 steps as a way of life. And how it can help you deal with pain. I hope that I can continue to learn more about the 12 steps, as I go through it myself.

Best regards